The Ways Of The Shirley

I've recently started a part-time job at a supermarket, I've met an interesting variety of people, but none as quite as amazing as Shirley.

Shirley, a little lady in her fifties, is the store trainer. She makes us watch training DVDs and fill in forms with really obvious answers. For example, there was one question that said 'What should you do if you find some spilt milk in the aisle?' and I resisted the urge to write 'Don't cry over it.'

We'll be sitting watching DVDs or doing till training and she'll suddenly have vanished. This obviously led to some interesting conversations among her padawans. I was discussing it with Darren, a tall lad who old ladies seem to love.

I asked, "Don't you find it strange that Shirley keeps disappearing?"

To which he replied, "Yeah, it's like she vanished into thin air."

"Holy shit Darren, she's a wizard!"

"We're gonna learn the ways of the Shirley!"

The following weeks will be spent carefully observing Shirley for any signs of paranormal activity. As of yet she hasn't imparted any of her secrets, which obviously has left me very disappointed.